Return to Self Loathing
by jaded unmotivated darkflame
Summary: Greg/OC -- Greg is losing himself after the whole explosion incident...and an extreme caseload is no help in that matter. But when a new criminalist/DNA tech comes to the lab, he finds more than relief from some of the caseload - at least for awhile. May
1. Introduction: Your Promise

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Author's Note: Wow, I used to be on this site as Stripped, neon, riot_girl_0018...a lot of other names. I guess when the site decided to delete all my Good Charlotte stories from the misc. section, I got kinda pissed and abandoned it for fandomination.net, so I could actually post my Good Charlotte stories. But, now I'm back, and ready to post CSI stories again, LOL! Hope I wasn't missed too badly.  
**Title of Story: **Return to Self-Loathing - Based on a Mest song  
**Author:** jaded unmotivated darkflame - Liz  
**Brief Summary:** Greg/OC -- Greg is losing himself after the whole explosion incident...and an extreme caseload is no help in that matter. But when a new criminalist/DNA tech comes to the lab, he finds more than relief from some of the caseload - at least for awhile. May have N/S, G/C (I'm actually a shipper for G/S and W/C, but I'm trying a lil something new. Wish me luck, LOL) and W/OC innuendoes.

Introduction: Your Promise

Leila grinned widely as she stepped off the plane and went to get her luggage. She'd missed her big sister for so long, it was killing her. Her sister was the best friend she'd ever had, and not seeing her, even though she was only doing so for college (she'd just recently graduated with a double major in forensic science and anthropology, just as her sister had), was tough for Leila to stomach. But, as Leila's birthday present, her sister had pulled some strings and begged her boss, so now Leila was hired to work with her, and they could have the same friendship that they always used to when she was growing up. She took out her cell phone as she dragged her luggage to the front door of the airport, and dialed her sister's number to see if she was already there waiting for her. But, as soon as she dialed the first three numbers, she smiled as she saw her sister's car waiting in front of her. 

If Leila had ever smiled that wide in her twenty-two-year life, she could scarcely remember it. She rushed to the familiar Chevy Tahoe and knocked on the front driver's side window. She could almost see her sister's beaming face as the window rolled down. Sure enough, there sat her sister, beaming at her, her brown eyes sparkling at the sight of her younger sister. "Leila!" she opened the door, got out and wrapped her arms around Leila in a warm, welcoming hug. "What took you so long? We've been waiting for you here...for almost two hours..."

Leila looked over to the passenger's side, to see what her sister was talking about when she had said 'we'. What she saw was a black haired, brown-eyed man that she'd never seen in her life. "Hi, I'm Leila-..."  
The man replied to her with a grin. "I know, your sister has told me all about you..." he told Leila. "You really do look just like her, it's not just something she said..." he shook his head.  
Leila shook her head too. "Nope, I've always looked a lot like my sister. It's a major part of the Sidle charm, the fact that we all look a lot alike..." she looked at her Sara.  
He nodded and laughed a little. "Yeah, but no matter what Sara told me, I didn't think I'd be looking at this much of a mirror. Take out that nose piercing and change those baggy clothes, and you'd make it look like I was watching Sara look in a mirror right now," he looked from Leila to Sara. "I'm Nick Stokes, by the way..."

__

Looking for answers to all the questions no one knows  
Bleeded and begged, asked you for nothing but something showed  
Your uneasy eyes the sweat on your forehead, everyone's pointing your nervous out.  
You're restless and weak, time to start over. There's nothing to keep them from knowing this now.  
Nothing to keep them from knowing this now.  
Promises, shattered pieces, memories of nothing.  
Cowardly you'll face this all alone.

Leila offered Nick her hand to shake. "So you're the perfect boyfriend Sara's always telling me about over the phone..." she grinned at him and looked to the blushing face of her sister.  
Sara shook her head and held out her ring finger. "Correction...he's the perfect fiancé that I haven't exactly told you about yet..."  
Nick's jaw practically hit the ground and he blinked twice at Sara. "You haven't told her yet? I'd expect Leila to know everything before even Catherine! Hell of a way to find out..." he let his shoulders drop.  
Leila shrugged and looked at Sara. "She knows that I like to hear big, important news in person, that's all. I'll assume that's the only reason she hasn't told me yet..." she looked at Sara hopefully.  
Sara nodded and bit her lower lip, looking at Leila in apprehension. "There's one other...little...ok, big--thing I have to tell you..." she explained, putting her hand on her stomach.  
Leila let out an ecstatic shriek, immediately getting the hint. "Sara Christine Sidle...you aren't? Am...am I gonna be an auntie?" her jaw was nearly on the ground.

Sara smiled wide and nodded. Nick, on the other hand, was shocked and appalled at the fact that Leila was finding all of this out for the first time. "You're meaning to tell me that Sara hasn't told you any of this yet?" he asked, with a look on his face that could make anyone laugh.  
Leila shrugged and thought for a second. "Oh my God...THAT'S why you had to get off the phone so quickly three days ago? You said you had to run to the pharmacy...to pick up a pregnancy test?" she threw her arms around her sister and gave off a beaming smile. "Or...was it?"  
Sara nodded and hugged Leila just as tightly as she was being hugged. "Yeah, I figured you may want to hear it face to face, so we could freak out like this..." she paused and pulled out of the hug, looking her younger sister in the eye. "You're not mat at me, are you Lei?" she asked. A look of relief crossed her concerned face when Leila shook her head profusely.  
Nick got out of the car, finally, and walked around to the girls, picking Leila's luggage up and setting it in the back of the car. "This sister bond is exactly what Sara told me it was. You two never get mad at each other..." he looked at Leila. "Do you?" he asked.

Leila shook her head. "Nope. We've never been mad at each other...except when we were younger. Like, when Sara was thirteen and I was going through my mischievous threes stage...and I got into her stuff all the time," she laughed at the memory of Sara's thirteen year old face, all scrunched up and angry. "But that pretty much went away when I went into high-school, and Sara was starting in San Diego..."  
Sara laughed and nodded. "Leila realized that she couldn't live without her big sissy, and she called me one day, crying and begging for me to come back home..." she let out a slight laugh.  
Nick grinned and watched the reunion. "So, I take it, I'm going to be seeing a lot of Leila, aside from in the lab?" he asked. "Not that it bugs me or anything, just want to be prepared..."  
Both girls nodded as they headed into the car, to go to Sara's apartment, where Leila would be staying until she found a place of her own.

__

You're finding your truths are nothing but lies still no one knows.  
You see yourself run, but I see you crawling to face the truth.  
Your hesitant now, your heart must be burning, ripping and tearing, your insides are numb.  
Restless and weak, time to start over, and nothing can keep them from emptiness now.  
Nothing can keep them from emptiness now.  
Promises, shattered pieces, memories of nothing.  
Cowardly you'll face this all alone.

~~

Greg watched the clock attentively, praying for the hour hand to tell him that he could go home. But, as long as the sky-high pile of evidence in front of him kept beckoning to him, he could look at the hour hand on the clock until his eyes popped out of his head, and nothing would happen. He cleared his head and went back to work, running DNA profiles, matching samples and all the lab tech stuff he ordinarily did. Even though he loved his job more than he could describe, ever since a month ago, when his life had almost ended in an abrupt second, his heart just hadn't been in it. He was on the verge of a breakdown, and he didn't have any idea how long it would take for him to get to that point.

All of a sudden, a huge crash from behind sent Greg up and out of his chair in a frantic attempt to shelter himself from any incoming blast. He shook his head quickly, in realization that it was only the chorus of 'The Leaving Song Part Two' by AFI, blaring from the radio about five feet behind his head. Taking a deep breath in through his nose, he decided that it was about time for him to take a break. Just for a little coffee, and then he'd probably feel a lot better. _To the conference room,_ he told himself, turning the radio off and rushing to the conference room. He sat at the table, waiting for the coffeepot to do its job, and apparently, his past week's worth of sleepless nights caught up to him, and he was fast asleep on the table.

__

You know how this will end, cause the pain inside your head is cutting yourself thin.  
Nothing to do now when you're buried underground. Your promise haunts you now.  
Promises, shattered pieces, memories of nothing.  
Cowardly you'll face this all alone.


	2. Chapter One: Until I Met You

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Author's Note: Ok, rather than have Leila on the field, I'm going to put her behind the scenes. It'll be easier for me to make a crime scene that way.  
To my TOD readers: thank you to my two reviewers. It means a lot to me that you like the idea for this story.  
To my FD.N readers, if I have any: I need some feedback to know whether or not you want me to continue posting this. What do you guys think of it?

Chapter One: Until I Met You

--Two Days Later--

Leila pulled into the Las Vegas Crime Lab parking lot, right behind Sara and Nick. She'd been preparing herself for weeks--months even, for this day to come, and now that it was there, she was far from prepared. All the pep-talks she gave herself over the past few months, through her chemistry, physics, human biology, forensic psychology and forensic science classes and term papers. Even with all her qualifications, though, only just before she'd boarded the plane to Las Vegas, she'd convinced herself that she was going to be fine and now, all her confidence was gone. She was as nervous as a bat in the light. Sighing, she got out of her car and looked at the building. She looked back at Sara and Nick, who were just getting out of their own vehicle, and decided that she'd wait for them to get to her before continuing on her journey.

Sara looked at her younger sister, knowing immediately why she had paused on her way inside. "Lei, you need to relax. Believe me, Grissom knows you're qualified. I made sure I showed him your degrees and all of that," she explained with a gentle touch on her shoulder.  
Nick nodded and chimed into the conversation. "As soon as a spot opened up, Sara kept boasting and prodding for Grissom to hire you..." he laughed a little. "He had to give in, especially since you're far more qualified than all of the other applications he got!"  
Leila let out a slight laugh and nodded. She was so thankful for Sara and how much faith she'd always put in her. In Sara's eyes, Leila was the smartest girl in the world, and she could do anything. In Leila's point of view, though, that was Sara. Leila had idolized Sara since she was fifteen, and Sara was just beginning as a CSI. Ever since, Leila had become fascinated with forensics and forensic science, and that was what she aspired to do with her life. She watched the door to the building apprehensively, just praying to buy herself a little more time; maybe for the door to fly onto the other side of the building magically. "So, you're sure that Grissom--"

Sara's shoulders slumped and she rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath through her nose. "Leila, everything is fine. You know, you must have some anxiety disorder or something like that..." she rolled her eyes as Nick, like the gentleman he was, opened the door for the two women.  
Nick joined Sara in poking fun at Leila's nervousness. "Really, it's not like anyone's foot is gonna come out of thin air and magically trip you as you're talking to Grissom in his office or anything like that..." he laughed and stuck his foot out to trip Leila. Thankfully for Sara and Nick's relationship, Leila got along well with Nick. Over the past couple days, they'd pretty much exchanged life-stories, and a couple humiliating stories about Sara, having a quick mutual laugh, much to Sara's dismay.  
Leila noticed Nick's foot before humiliating herself, and hopped over it, giving the older man a light shove in the shoulder, toward his fiancée. "No, but if you have your way, I'll trip before then, am I right, Nick?" she glared at him playfully. "Plus, if you're anywhere in the near vicinity, how can I be sure someone won't trip me?" she winked at him and turned her head to the right, seeing three people she'd never seen in her life. They passed right by she, Sara and Nick, though, with only a wave. "Who were they?" she asked as they waved back.

Nick shrugged and looked at Leila. "Those were three of our coworkers. The one with the grayish blonde hair was the supervisor, Gil Grissom," he did a swooshing motion across his hair, then brought his hands back down to his sides. "The guy with the foofy fro? He's also a criminalist, his name's Warrick Brown...and the Korean looking guy? That's the audio-visual technician, Archie Johnson..."  
Leila let out a slight laugh at Nick and shook her head. "Supervisor...audio-visual technician--how about you just say the boss and A/V tech? You treat me like I don't know abbreviations, Nick..." she joked and looked to Sara, who was joining her in her laugh.  
Nick rolled his eyes, scoffed and pointed to Grissom's office, showing Leila the right way to go. "You wanna go talk to Grissom before anything. That way, he can give you your assignment..."  
Leila headed in the direction Nick pointed and rolled her eyes. "Ok, assignment...now it sounds like I'm a double agent..." she heard Sara laugh in the distance, as she looked at the office door. "Dr. Gilbert Grissom..." she read silently to herself. 'Gilbert...?' she thought as she stifled a laugh. Slowly and nervously, she knocked on the door, only to be greeted with a smiling--female--face with a set of sparkling blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair.

"Hey, you must be Leila Sidle..." the new face flashed Leila a smile. "Sara's sister, right? Wow, you can really tell you guys came from the same mother..." she let out a slight laugh.  
Leila laughed and nodded. "Yeah, I'm Sara's sister...may I ask who you are...without seeming rude?" she bit her lower lip, knowing she'd just sounded rude, although she was trying not to.  
The woman laughed a little and shook her head. "You didn't seem rude, it's ok," she held her hand out for Leila to shake. "I'm Catherine Willows...I was just excited to meet you, because Sara talks about you so much. You know-how smart you are and everything..."  
Leila blushed and looked at the desk, where the man she'd just found out to be her boss sat, then looked back to Catherine. "Nice to meet you, Catherine..."  
Gil glanced at Leila over the frames of his glasses and smiled. "Nice to meet you, Leila--I'm Gil Grissom," he flashed her a comforting grin, trying to let her know that she didn't have to be nervous.  
It didn't make much of a difference. Leila was going to be nervous, no matter what any Gil Grissom or Catherine Willows did to try to make her feel at home. So far, everyone she'd seen, except for Archie, who she had yet to actually meet, was at least ten years over her own age, and it didn't make it easy on the nerves to know that. She nodded a thank you to Grissom and waited for instructions.  
Grissom looked at her with the same grin still on his face, and looked at Catherine. "Hey, Cath...can you show her around the lab or something like that? Or, even find Greg so he can show her around? She needs to see the lab, so she can know where to go for future reference..."

Catherine got a devilish grin on her face. "Sure...I'll find Greg and he can do it...he's on his break right now anyway, and I'm on a double murder...alone, so I'm swamped..." she looked at Leila. "Come on, let's go find Greg..."  
Leila looked confused, and wondered who Greg was, but she didn't want to make a big deal, so she just looked at Grissom and smiled. "Do you want me to come back here afterward so you can put me on a case or something?" she asked, hopefully.  
Grissom looked slightly surprised at Leila's question. "Didn't Sara tell you?" he asked, feeling sorry to disappoint the younger woman. Once Leila shook her head, Grissom sighed and continued speaking. "You're not working on the field...you're working in the DNA lab with our DNA tech, Greg Sanders..."  
Leila was taken aback a little. Sara had failed to mention this to her, but she probably should have figured it out, since she took all behind the scenes science classes in college. It didn't bother her, though, as long as she still had some part in busting criminal creeps. "Oh, ok...well, that's cool..."  
Catherine looked at Leila, a little surprised at her calmness with being demoted, so to speak. "Ok...well, let's go find Greg...it'll be good for him to give you the tour, since you're gonna be working with him on this and everything..." 

Leila nodded and followed Catherine out of the lab, passing Sara on the way out and displaying a slight glare her way. "Sara, we need to talk when shift is up...I just found out where I'm working..." she stuck her tongue out at her sister. "And it's not on the field..." she curled her upper lip.  
Sara nervously bit her lower lip and took a deep breath. "Sorry, Leila...I just thought that if you know you'd be a DNA tech you wouldn't come work with me..." she frowned.  
Leila rolled her eyes and continued to follow Catherine to whoever this Greg guy was. She wondered if Greg was another thirty or forty year old that would make Leila feel insignificant, but as they approached the DNA lab, a smile crossed her worried face. 'Death of Seasons' by AFI was blaring from the radio, and she knew that if anyone over the age of thirty listened to AFI, they had to be cool. But as Catherine opened the door, Leila was taken completely off guard. Not only at how much louder the music was, but at how good looking whoever was listening to it was.

Catherine looked at Leila, hoping she'd be as horrified by the music as she was, but instead, Leila sang along, word-for-word. "Greg..." Catherine spoke, although her voice was drowned out by the screaming of, 'writing with sickness, thrown into banality.' So, she spoke a little louder. "GREG!" she screamed, making both Leila and Greg jump a little.  
Greg jumped sky-high and whirled around. He looked Catherine dead in the eye and reached over to turn his radio down. "Can you please...PLEASE...not do that? I'm begging you. I'm really jumpy..." he looked over Catherine's shoulder at Leila and blushed. "Who is that?" he asked Catherine with a sheepish look on his face.  
Catherine stepped aside and allowed Leila to face Greg. "Greg, this is Leila Sidle, our new DNA tech...your partner. Leila, this is Greg Sanders..." she introduced the two younger colleagues. "Greg, we need you to show Leila around the lab, because I'm sort of swamped, and I need to leave the lab to do an interview..."  
Greg nodded and flashed Catherine an embarrassed look. "I'm sorry for snapping at you...I'm just jumpy. I have been ever since...you know..." he explained, knowing she'd understand what he was talking about.  
Whatever was meant by what Greg had just said went right over Leila's head, but somehow, Catherine understood it. "It's ok, I understand. I kind of expected it, to be honest. Greggo...just watch yourself, ok? Just show Leila around..."

Greg nodded and looked at Leila as Catherine left the room. "So...your name is Layla...kind of like that Eric Clapton song?" he asked with a grin. This girl was beautiful, and in Greg's eyes, beautiful took a lot. There were seven stages of looks in Greg Sanders' eyes, and Leila, unlike most women, reached the highest stage. Each woman he'd dated in the past had only made it as high as stage five. The stages went as follows, stage one: repulsive, stage two: sickly, stage three: ugly, stage four: okay, stage five: cute, stage six: hot and stage seven: beautiful. Leila had passed all his preconceptions and made it all the way to stage seven. She had sparkling brown eyes, an adorable button nose with a piercing on the right side, a beautiful pair of glossy pink lips, with a hoop piercing in the bottom lip, long brown hair, with perfectly placed blue and blonde highlights in it; she was basically the image of Sara, only with a little more punk edge to her. Greg liked that punk edge, though.

Leila shook her head. "L-E-I-L-A...my mom wanted to name me Layla, but my dad isn't too much of a Clapton fan so he said hell no..." she let out a little laugh. Greg was really gorgeous in her eyes, too. The way he kept his hair so unkempt, it almost looked as though he just rolled out of bed that way, but the way he smelled, she knew he had to have taken a shower. Walking beside him from the DNA lab, she took in everything, from his brown eyes to his insecure way of carrying himself. How she was expected to work beside him without being completely distracted was something Leila would have to figure out in time.

~~

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Author's Note: Look for some Leila/Greg flirting in the next chapter. Then...the story gets interesting.


	3. Chapter Two: Anything But Ordinary

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Author's Note: Wow, I must be worth something as a writer, LOL! All the positive feedback I've gotten is awesome. You guys completely rock...and that's an understatement. By the way, I've decided to go back and change the chapter titles to different songs and add the lyrics along with them.  
This chapter is based on a song by one of my all time favorite songs by one of my favorite solo artists, Avril Lavigne (yes, I'm a Good Charlotte and Avril fan, but no, I'm not a bopper), so I will include the lyrics.

Chapter Two: Anything But Ordinary 

Although everyone at the lab thought Greg acted like he was twelve, for the first time since he was really twelve, he actually felt like it. He wasn't normal, and he knew it. He showed it a lot around his coworkers, but he could never show the real Greg as much as he wanted to, or else he'd be fired. Somehow, though, the vibes that he got from Leila told him that he could be himself and she wouldn't judge him. Greg had never felt this secure and comfortable around someone in his entire life. He had always been the odd one out, but he felt that with Leila, he felt that fit in. He felt that they were on the same wavelength, and he'd barely said ten words to the woman. He was far too nervous, though, to strike up a conversation.

Sure, he felt that he could be himself around her, but never enough to strike up a conversation. She was so unlike anyone else, he could already see it. But he was Greg. He wasn't like everyone else. He wasn't exactly...ordinary. Not that ordinary was good, because he could see that Leila was anything but ordinary. She wasn't like any person that he'd met before. That was one of the major attributes to her charm. She was just too good for him. That was the only reason he couldn't make a conversation to her. He had to, though. He'd be working close beside her, and they needed to have a little trust with each other, so he had to let at least some of his cover up crumble for a little bit, before long, anyway. 

__

Sometimes I get so weird, I even freak myself out  
I laugh myself to sleep, it's my lullaby  
Sometimes I drive so fast just to feel the danger  
I want to scream it makes me feel alive  
Is it enough to love, is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed  
Is it enough to die; somebody save my life  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary, please

Leila noticed Greg's nervous behavior and pointed to the nearest door. "So, shall we start the tour here?" she tried to ease his mind by speaking first, not realizing that what she'd just pointed to was a major attribute to what was distressing Greg to begin with.  
Greg shrugged and nodded nervously. "Sure...this is the trace elements lab. But we really don't wanna go in there, because the guy that works there is a real ass," he let out a little laugh. Then, he stopped laughing and sighed deeply at the thought that even though it wasn't entirely his fault, Hodges, the trace elements tech, had been a key player in causing the explosion that had changed his life for the worse.  
She laughed a little, too, and tried to calm Greg down a little bit. "Do you think he gets laid enough?" she winked at him, knowing that even though he was sexy at this point, he was probably sexier when he smiled. "Or has it been so long that his boxers or briefs...or whatever he wears--if anything--have crust on them?"

Greg couldn't help but laugh. A woman his age, who was gorgeous and had his same sense of humor...and she was really real? This had to be some sort of dream or something like that. Greg hadn't even slept long enough to dream lately though, so no, it wasn't a dream. "Can we not think of him that way please? I'm not hoping to puke today..." he flashed Leila a small grin.  
Leila shrugged and flashed a slight smile. "Well, why don't you let me meet him? My quick-wittedness may polite-ify him a bit..." she winked as she almost drowned in Greg's brown eyes. In those eyes, she could see so much hurt; more hurt than a man like him should have to endure.  
Greg laughed at Leila's word. "Polite-ify him?" he asked with a smirk. "Polite-ify--that would definitely be a word I haven't heard before; did you make that up?" he asked, partially knowing the answer, but still wanting to hear Leila's voice speaking to him.  
She nodded as Greg opened the door to Hodges' lab for her. "I do that a lot...I have a tendency to make up words when I can't think of anything to go along with the situation...especially for chemicals," she laughed a little. "So, if I ask for 'that blue stuff,' you typically wanna ask me whether I mean this or that..."

Greg nodded and grinned. He'd often asked himself if he needed to use 'that blue stuff,' when talking about certain chemicals. "Gotcha..."  
Hodges looked up from a microscope and gave Leila a sarcastic smile. "I assume you're the new DNA tech?" he looked back down at his microscope, completely blocking Leila's answer out, since he already knew what it was going to be. "You're Detective Sidle's sister, right?"  
Leila looked at Greg, mumbled "Crusty underwear..." under her breath, heard Greg laugh out loud, then looked back to Hodges. "Yes, I'm Sara's sister. Leila Sidle...nice to meet you..." she held out her hand for him to shake.  
Hodges didn't even look up from his microscope while he said, "David Hodges...same to you. Listen, I'm busy. I'm hovering over about six different trace samples from two different scenes. So, come back later."  
Leila scoffed, rolled her eyes, turned on her heel and headed to the door. "You know, common courtesy is to look someone in the eye when talking to them. It shows mutual respect...but then, when you don't even look them in the eye when they're talking to you, or when you're talking to them...maybe it means that you don't deserve the respect," she looked to Greg and shrugged. "Gonna continue on with the tour?" she asked.  
Greg was still practically rolling on the floor over her 'crusty underwear' comment, but when she handled Hodges with the same amount of disrespect that Hodges handled most other people with, he was taken aback. Greg's respect for Leila Sidle had just increased. "Yeah, let's go..."

After he closed the door, he was presented with a little more confidence, when it came to Leila. She had a radiantly sexy glow in his eyes. After Greg scratched her surface, where with most people, he would be repulsed, with Leila he was charmed. She was smart, and not just with intellect, but with wit too. Not only that but she was seriously pretty, but she was funny and she seemed nice. As much as he wanted to take action and tell her all of the things in his head, though, Greg's self-assurance had gone down the drain since the day of the explosion. He didn't know how a few lingering burns on his back could ruin his life, but they seemed to be the only thing on his brain, to date.

Leila still noticed the uncertainty in Greg's eyes and wondered why it was even there. Someone like Greg had to be confident. He had every reason in the world to be sure about himself. She always seemed to notice that the only men who had confidence were the ones who didn't deserve it. She wondered if it was too soon to seize the chance and flirt with Greg. After all, she'd only just met him and didn't want to seem like a slut. But, she knew she wasn't a slut, so that was all that mattered in the end. As Greg turned in her direction to lead her to the next room, she grinned and lightly tickled just below his rib cage, but made sure she wasn't spotted by any of her coworkers. She didn't want to be presumed a slacker.

Greg jumped a little and turned in her direction. Not because she scared him, but because he was taken a little off guard. The old, pre-explosion Greg would have seen something like that coming, but the new Greg didn't seem to be paying attention. He was surprised at himself, but still, he reverted to old Greg mode and decided to take action and flirt back. He reached his right hand over and, when Leila wasn't looking, tapped her right shoulder. The oldest trick in the book, but still, Leila seemed to fall for it, because she looked behind her to see who'd tapped her. Greg grinned 'innocently' and tickled both of her sides, right under her rib cage, while her back was turned from him.

__

To walk within the lines would make my life so boring  
I want to know that I have been to the extremes  
So, knock me off my feet, come on now give it to me  
Anything to make me feel alive  
Is it enough to love, is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed  
Is it enough to die; somebody save my life  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary, please

She jumped, whirled around and pursed her lips at him. "That's not even cool..." she tilted her head to the left side and glared at Greg in playful anger.  
"Me?" Greg pulled his head back innocently, as though he was shocked at her accusation. "I'd never do that..." he clasped his hands like an angel and looked toward the ceiling.  
She shoved him lightly in the shoulder and crossed her arms. "Let's just continue with the tour, huh?" she stuck her tongue out and waited for him to recover from her shove.  
Greg nodded, then cringed slightly as they passed the room that formerly housed the fume hood and all of Greg's tools-of-the-trade. Now, what remained was a pile of ash, which was just now getting around to being rebuilt. He noticed that Leila's glance was sort of fixated on the room.  
She looked over at him and gave off a curious glance. "Greg...if you don't mind me asking...what happened there?" she asked. "I mean...Sara told me some, but she was a little sketchy on the details..." she explained, getting a tone of understanding in her voice. "I'll understand if you don't want to say--"  
He shook his head and shrugged. "I don't mind..." he was a little surprised, to say the least, that he was opening up to Leila, but he couldn't help it. "I'm the best person to ask, since I was--" he paused, wondering if he should open himself up that wide. "--right there when it happened..." he pointed to around the center of the room.

Leila looked interested but confused. "How?" she could see that she was starting to care a lot about Greg Sanders, though she barely knew him. "Well, I mean, I know you were, like, working there...but how did it happen?"  
Greg could see that Leila's brown eyes held so much concern. It was so sweet. He figured that if she showed him concern, he should tell her the truth. "Well...it was partly because Hodges left the hot plate on in the fume hood..." he paused, looked at Catherine as she brushed past them on her way to a scene or something, and then as soon as she was out of sight, he continued. "But it was also partly because Catherine put a substance that we hadn't identified under the fume hood with it..." he looked down to the floor. "And I was thrown out the window...my back is covered in burns..."  
Leila's eyes widened. "You were in the--in the room?" her eyes were pushed from curious to sympathetic in a split second. "Oh...my God...Greg..." she walked toward Greg and put her arms around him in a gentle hug. "That must have been horrifying..."  
Greg grinned at the fact that a beautiful woman was hugging him and not slapping him in the face. He sensitively hugged her back and tried to calm her down. "I'm okay, Leila...I made it through, that's all that matters, right?" he asked her with a smile.

She shook her head. "No...that has to be traumatizing. Oh my God..." she looked at the burn on my cheek. "Is that where you got that from?" she asked.  
He was shocked. "Yeah..." he nodded. "But I am okay..." It was almost as though she saw straight through the 'completely ok' façade he put on. Sure, he told her, but he tried to keep the look on his face strong so that no one else could see his pain. But Leila saw right through it.  
She shook her head again. "Tell me the truth. That's why you were so jumpy today...and so that's why you were so sketchy around Catherine and that Hodges guy. I have to be honest, I don't see you as the type to be threatened by creeps like him..." she flashed him a million dollar grin. "And plus, Catherine seems really nice..."  
When Leila grinned, Greg almost forgot what they were talking about and went weak in the knees. "Yeah, that's why..." he answered her. "But, Leila...I am okay..."  
She looked at him as though she could see through everything. "Greg..." she raised her eyebrow at him. "Are you honestly, seriously okay?"

One thing was for sure; Leila Sidle was anything but ordinary. She saw right through every little thing that Greg was trying to hide. He was not okay. He was far from okay, really. "No, I'm not...but can we talk about this another time and just continue with the tour of the lab?" he asked with a slight sigh. "I mean, I appreciate the concern, I just...you understand, right?"  
She nodded and waited for him to show her to the next room. She could see a definite connection between she and Greg Sanders, and it was a great thing. He was a great guy. Something had to be made of what was happening. But not just after they met. It would have to take time.

__

Let down your defenses, use no common sense  
If you look, you will see that this world is a  
Beautiful, accident, turbulent, succulant, opulent, permanent, no way.   
I wanna taste it, don't wanna waste it away.  
Sometimes I get so weird, I even freak myself out  
I laugh myself to sleep, it's my lullaby  
Is it enough, is it enough, is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed.  
Is it enough to die; somebody save my life  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary, please

~~

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Author's Note: Too cheesy? Tell me what you think...


	4. Chapter Three: Bring Me To Life

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Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of updates over the past few days. I've been out of state visiting family, and then ff.n started being stupid. But the good news is...I had plenty of time to write on my new chapter! So, here you are!

Chapter Three: Bring Me to Life

--Two Days Later--

Leila had her eye stuck so close to the microscope that if it got any closer, the microscope may have been confused as part of her body by an innocent bystander. Just to her left, about five inches away, Greg stood looking at something under another microscope, and neither of them could hear anything, due to the blaring of 'Bring Me to Life' by Evanescence in the background. She was grateful that Greg needed loud music to function, because she did too, and she always seemed to do better around music. As she waited for the machine to spit the DNA test results out of the printer, so she could page Catherine and Warrick to tell them to pick the results up, she sat in the office chair and hummed along to the tune of the music.

She looked over at Greg and realized that he was deeply immersed in whatever it was he was doing. What she wouldn't have given in that moment just to have walked up behind him and told him what she was thinking, but she knew that it was neither appropriate nor fair. Greg was recovering from something harsh, that someone shouldn't ever have to go through, and she understood that he wanted to keep his distance. Still, she couldn't help but stare at him. Even in that long, white lab coat, he looked amazing. She was off in her own world, gazing contently at the wonder that was Greg Sanders, when the extremely loud buzzing sound of the printer behind her interrupted her trance. She scoffed and grabbed the paper from the machine.

She looked at the results and took out her cell phone to dial Catherine's pager number, then after she did, as she waited for a reply, she went back to staring at Greg. As she looked a little closer, and from a side view, she noticed that his hands were trembling uncontrollably. She stood up and walked over to the radio, turning it down and then walking over beside Greg, putting her hand gently on his arm, so she didn't alarm him too terribly. She remembered seeing Greg's horrified face when Catherine had startled him a couple days prior, and she never wanted to see him like that again. Gorgeous eyes like his didn't deserve that kind of terror. She could only imagine having looked into his eyes right after the explosion. She probably would have wanted to cry.

__

How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb.  
Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,  
Until you find it there and lead it back home.  
Wake me up inside, wake me up inside,  
Call my name and save me from the dark.  
Bid my blood to run, before I come undone.  
Save me from the nothing I've become.

He flashed her a curious glance. Sure, she'd startled him a little, because any unexpected touch was startling to Greg at that point, but a touch as gentle as Leila's didn't bother him too badly. "Yeah?" he asked with a gentle smile. He was grateful for someone with Leila's amount of sympathy.  
She looked at him and gave a sort of offering, to try to calm his nerves a little. "Do you...I noticed you shaking..." she paused nervously. "And well, I was wondering if you needed a shoulder massage...if maybe the shaking was just from nervous tension or something like that?" she asked sweetly.

He looked at her, kind of surprised. The last time someone had offered to give him a massage, he really couldn't remember. But, he wasn't one to turn down a massage from a beautiful woman. Plus he was really grateful for her, because it was just what he needed at that point. "Sure..." he grinned and looked around. "Where do you want me to sit?" he called attention to the fact that he was almost five inches taller than she was.  
She thought for a second and looked at the clock. "Do you want to take a break after Catherine comes to pick these results up? Then I can give you a nice fifteen minute massage in the break room?" she suggested, wondering if he'd be willing to wait a little while.

He nodded and pushed his hands together, trying to stop them from shaking. He couldn't stand it. There was so much stress on his poor twenty-eight year old body that he was about to break. Grissom told him that the shaking was going to go away, but every time Greg looked at his hands, they were still shaking uncontrollably. Maybe he'd meant that it would go away when he had a woman like Leila massaging his shoulders. He grinned at the thought of Leila's hands touching his shoulders. Well, almost his shoulders, anyway. His AFI t-shirt, over his shoulders was close enough for his taste, even though the actual skin on his shoulders would be nice.

Once Catherine arrived, the conversation she had with Leila about the test results was honestly a blur to Greg. He was far too fascinated by the professional manner in which the woman he'd been staring at, out of the corner of his eye, for the past two minutes, was carrying herself. She was very professional, but she kept the same attitude that Greg had, always making jokes and trying to make her coworkers laugh. Catherine walked away laughing out loud at something Leila had said, but Greg didn't exactly know what, and then she approached him. She smiled sweetly and asked, "Are you ready for that massage?" with a slight wink of one of her beautiful brown eyes.

Greg nodded and flashed a sweet smile, following Leila to the break room, taking his lab-coat off and sitting down in a comfortable chair. "Thank you so much for this...seriously, it's something I really need right now. I owe you..." he thanked her, leaning back in his seat and waiting for the soft touch of Leila's hands on his shoulders.  
Sure enough, it was soft and gentle, but enough to send a sensation throughout his entire body. She moved her hands around, rubbing his shoulders and neck, and he could feel a lot of the tension and aching go away, and after a while, he could even feel his hands stop shaking. It was amazing what a little touch could do to a man. Entirely amazing, at that. He was really beginning to feel something for Leila, and it was beginning to take over his little physical crush on Sara.

__

Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life.  
Wake me up inside, wake me up inside.  
Call my name and save me from the dark.  
Bid my blood to run, before I come undone,  
Save me from the nothing I've become.  
Bring me to life, I'm living a lie, there's nothing inside. Bring me to life...  
Frozen inside without your touch, without your love darling.  
Only you are the life among the dead...

Leila walked around Greg and took his right hand in both of hers. "Maybe this will relieve some of the tension in your hands..." she held his large hand in her hands and started to massage it, then after some of the tension calmed down, she repeated this with his left hand. "Is that better?" she asked with a sweet smile.  
He looked at her and nodded. He definitely felt the shaking starting to vanish. He hadn't felt so relaxed in nearly a month; he could even move his arms without his hands trembling, and the relief he felt was amazing. "Thank you so much, Leila...this was--is--amazing..."  
She laughed and shrugged her shoulders. The smile on his face was so flawless. His smile suited him far better than a frown or any other distressed look he'd been wearing since she met him. "It's really not a problem. All you have to do is ask, and I'll give you another one..."  
He nodded and moved to stand up. "Seriously, though. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough...this is the first time I've really stopped shaking since...you know..." he got lost in her eyes for a second, but glanced away almost instantaneously. Sure, Leila was beyond amazing, but he wasn't quite ready for someone like her. Ok, maybe he was ready, but he wasn't deserving of her.  
Leila, though, didn't see it that way. She saw Greg as an amazing man; someone _she_ didn't deserve. Be that as it may, though, she wasn't done with Greg's massage yet. She could see that he desperately needed it. "You know, I wasn't finished yet..." she winked at him. "That is, unless you want me to stop..."

Greg abruptly sat back down. He had never been so grateful for a friend like Leila. Then again, he hadn't really gotten the chance to be that grateful, but, at any rate, whoever had come into his life from then on, they would never even halfway compare to Leila. "Thank you so much...you don't even begin to understand how great this feels, Leila..."  
She grinned and started in rubbing Greg's neck again. Although he was a lot less tense than he had been, a lot of stress still rested itself in those gorgeous shoulders of his. So, Leila carefully pushed her fingers against his neck, making sure for her own sake that she touched his soft, messy, blonde hair at least once. She continued this for fifteen minutes, and only stopped when Grissom, Nick and Sara entered the room, apparently on a manhunt for Greg. At first, neither Greg nor Leila noticed their superiors entering the room. But, when Sara cleared her throat, they jumped and turned their heads.   
Sara had her lips pursed, looking quite omnipotent, while Nick grinned proudly at Greg. Grissom, though, finally broke the awkward silence. "Greg, I need a DNA profile on this blood A.S.A.P.," he held up a plastic bag, containing a reddened cotton swab.  
Greg sighed and stood up. "Sure thing, Griss..." he took the bag and turned to Leila. "Well, it was nice while it lasted...thanks, Leila..." he grinned at her and turned to the door. "I owe you one...tell me when you need a massage, ok?"  
Leila laughed a little and nodded. "Sure thing...I'll hold you to that one..." she smiled as he left the room, followed by Nick and Grissom. Sara, on the other hand, stayed behind with her younger sister. Leila gave Sara a glance, as though she knew what was going on in her mind. "Sara...it was just a massage. I calmed down his shaking..."

Sara nodded and rolled her eyes. "And...there was no physical attraction there? As in absolutely none?" she asked, almost as though she knew the truth in Leila's head and heart.  
Leila bit her lower lip and nodded a little bit. "Yes, he's attractive...you know I go for guys like Greg...but it's not a good idea to fall for the guy I work with, right?" she looked to Sara and shrugged.  
Sara glared condescendingly at Leila and crossed her arms. "Leila...I just so happen to be engaged to Nick...he's a coworker...have you forgotten that?"  
A glare glanced Leila's face as well. "I have something to prove, though...I'm new here, and I don't want to get the reputation of a lazy, love struck little girl..." she shrugged.  
Sara laughed a little and shrugged. "Leila, you're not lazy, and it's okay to be love struck. Greg is a good guy...he's always been one of my closest friends..." she explained to Leila. "I honestly expected you to go for him, and not Warrick or anyone else..."  
Leila shrugged and smiled a little. "He's a completely amazing guy...I honestly don't understand how he's still single, Sara...he deserves a good girlfriend..." she shuddered at the thought of Greg with someone other than her.  
Sara laughed and stood up. "You're working closely with him...you two will get to know each other really well..." she reminded Leila. "Sooner or later, the sexual tension or whatever it is going on with you two, will get too hard to handle...you know it as well as I do."

__

All of this time, I can't believe I couldn't see,  
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me.  
I've been sleeping a thousand years, it seems.  
Got to open my eyes to everything.  
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul,  
Don't let me die here, there must be something wrong.

Leila shrugged and shook her head. "I can't let it, then..." she bit her lower lip and tried to disguise the delighted shriek going off in her mind. "Sure, it'll be tough, but life ain't easy..."  
Sara rolled her eyes and walked off, a slight laugh in her voice as she said, "Whatever you say, Leila...you just have it your way, ok?"  
Leila scoffed. Who did Sara think she was? Sexual tension between she and Greg, ha! The thought made her laugh. Ok, so the idea wasn't exactly insane. Greg was a very attractive guy, and she was at least a semi-pretty woman. But, knowing her luck, Greg already had a girlfriend, or someone he liked the way she was beginning to like him. She couldn't believe that she was even thinking about Greg in that way, though. She barely even knew him. But, she could tell that he needed a friend, and that was something Leila could do. She smiled, stood up and went to keep Greg company in the lab, while he toiled over whatever sample Grissom, Nick and Sara had given to him. It was the least she could do, after all.

__

Bring me to life...wake me up inside, wake me up inside.  
Call my name and save me from the dark.  
Bid my blood to run, before I come undone,  
Save me from the nothing I've become.

~~

****

Author's Note: Too cheesy...way too cheesy, LOL! If this gets any cheesier, I'm going to start over.


	5. Chapter Four: Nowhere Kids

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Author's Note: Okay, you guys truly rock. I seriously feel so loved. It's great. This song was inspired by a song by Smile Empty Soul. That is my new favorite CD, guys.

Chapter Four: Nowhere Kids (Good, Bad, Worse, Confusion)

-- Six Days Later --

Leila watched Greg toil over some blood he had just collected from a knife, as she herself should have been toiling over some sort of liquid sample, a brownish liquid that looked very familiar to her, she figured that it was Pepsi from the smell. But she couldn't help but center her attention toward Greg. He was so amazing, and no one gave him the credit that he'd most definitely earned. It was as though, five minutes after he began looking at the sample that he had, he already knew whose blood it was. All he wanted was to be on the field, but Grissom wouldn't give him that. It was beyond unfair. She could handle the DNA lab by herself. Greg had earned some respect, even on the field. He'd told her about a certain incident when if it hadn't been for his coin collection, and his help, they wouldn't have caught a murderer, and it was so hard to believe that after that, Grissom still hadn't let him on the field. 

Leila listened carefully, as he hummed along with 'One Day at a Time' by Die Trying, and she heard how amazing his voice was. She leaned her head onto her hand and sighed. It was time for someone to give Greg the attention he deserved. Just as she said that, Warrick walked into the room and approached her. "Leila, do you have the results as to what that brown liquid is?" he asked with a somber expression on his face.  
She huffed out a sigh at the fact that he didn't even seem to recognize how hard Greg was working on the blood sample. "Yeah," she nodded and held a piece of paper in front of her face. "It's Pepsi, but it was spiked with...um, some sort of organic poison or something..." she explained. "It was like that case Greg told me about, with the car salesman and the snake venom?"  
Greg heard his name and looked up from the piece of paper he was staring at. "Huh?" he asked, apparently missing out on over half of the conversation, and only hearing from when his name was mentioned. "What about me, a car salesman and snake venom?"

Warrick took the paper from Leila's hand, without so much as a thank you, and walked over to Greg. "Remember that Marty Gibson case? With the snake venom?" he asked.  
Greg nodded and looked away, going back into his own world, like he always seemed to do. Warrick didn't even seem to care, but Leila saw beyond the 'deep in my work' act. After Warrick brushed out of the room, she walked up to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder; something she'd become famous for in Greg's eyes over the past few weeks. "Hey, Greg..." she looked right into his as usual. "What's the matter?"  
He debated whether to tell her, but he knew that he should at least let her know a little something of the situation, since she'd been there for him ceaselessly over the past week and a half. "Ok, Leila. I haven't told anyone...not even Griss, Cath, Sara, Nick...Warrick, anyone...about this...so, please keep it between us," he told her, and once she nodded, he knew that it would be their little secret. He didn't even know where to begin. She needed to know the back-story. "Well...I need to go back into the past a little, so you'll get it. Don't interrupt me, because it's hard enough to talk about without having to start over, ok?"  
She nodded and prepared to listen. "I wouldn't dream of it..." she rolled an office chair over beside Greg, who even though he was now speaking to her, was still staring wide-eyed at the DNA results.

He started his story, hoping he wouldn't get carried away and tell Leila everything. He hadn't ever told anybody everything, yet, anyway. "Okay, well, to begin, my last name isn't really Sanders. My birth name is Gregory Michael Andrews, but I was renamed twice before I finally got a good adoptive family. So, as you could probably assume, I was adopted at a young age. When I was about...three, I think. That's what my first family, the Moore's told me when I was nine, anyway. They told me that my real mom and dad died in a plane crash, and that their dying wish was for them to take me in...or some soap opera crap like that," he explained, the usual Greg grin now faded from his face. He looked to Leila's face to see her reaction, and was surprised to see that she wasn't even faltering from his side in the slightest. "Well, I found out when I was fifteen that the real reason my mom and dad put me up for adoption was that they didn't want me. They weren't quite ready for a kid yet, so they put me up for adoption or something like that..." he felt tears coming to his eyes. "Then, when I found out what really happened, they gave me up for adoption, and the Sanders' adopted me. They were pretty good to me. They got me into science and all that."

__

In the land of dirt and plaster, lies an army of a thousand nowhere kids.  
Losing ground and falling faster, into a life that no one should have to live.  
We are the people that you made. We are the bastards that you created.  
A generation with no place. A generation of all your sons and daughters.

Leila blinked twice. "Oh my God, Greg. That's horrible. I am...so sorry!" she knew that the word sorry didn't even begin to cover the pain and horror of the situation Greg had been through, but she had to say something.  
He shrugged and held the piece of paper out to Leila. "And, well...read the name that came up when I ran the most recent blood sample through CODIS...the missing person's database..." he watched as Leila's face changed from extremely worried to bewildered.  
"Oh...Marie Moore...Greg, you don't think..." she paused and held the piece of paper away from her face for a second. "You really don't think that this is..."  
Greg knew what she was thinking, and nodded. "My birth mother? Yeah, I do..." he bit his lower lip and let one of the tears resting itself in his eye drop down his cheek. "Do you think I'm insane?" he asked.  
Leila shook her head. "No. I'm gonna help you look deeper into this, Greg. Do you want me to ask Grissom to put me on a need to know basis about this case? And then I'll tell you everything that he tells me?" she asked, placing a calming hand on Greg's hand.  
He nodded and wrapped his arms around Leila in a warm hug. She was way too good to be true. "Thank you so much..." he let out his long held back tears. Why he was letting it all come down with Leila, he couldn't really tell, but she gave him a sense of security that no one else had ever been able to give to him. None of his 'mothers' or 'fathers' had made him feel safe, especially not safe enough to cry; but Leila managed to do it. She had a strange, comforting sincerity about her, and Greg could actually tell that she meant everything she said to him.

She hugged him back, relishing the fact that he trusted her. She had to make this go somewhere. Greg was too perfect to pass up. "Greg, why don't you take the rest of the day off? I can handle the lab..." she told him, knowing that he'd just been hit by a shock wave that he'd probably never fully recover from.  
He shook his head and took Leila's hand. "No. I don't want to be by myself right now," he begged her, knowing that she'd understand. "I'm just gonna hang out here and keep working. It kind of calms me..."  
She looked at her hand in his and nodded. She and Greg were actually sharing an emotional moment, and all she had to do was just be there for him, something she intended to do in the first place. "Okay, just make sure you and I are together at all times. You're really vulnerable right now, and you don't need to be shaken up at all..."  
Catherine entered the room and looked at Greg. "Hey, Greg. Do you have the results from that knife yet?" she asked, not knowing she'd just hit a soft spot.  
Greg did a lot better than Leila thought that he would, keeping his composure, though. "Yeah, here they are, Cath. The blood on the knife belongs to someone named Marie Moore..." he winced a little when he said the name Marie Moore. "And we still need to check for epithelials on the handle..."  
Catherine looked at Leila. "We? You're helping him now? I thought you were working on Warrick, Nick and Sara's case with the guy who got poisoned or something..." she asked her.

Leila looked at the pleading look on Greg's face, and knew why he needed her so desperately. "No, I finished that anyway. Now, I'm a free agent, so I figure, why not help Greg out," she kept her wits about her, trying not to make it too obvious that something had just gone horribly wrong.  
Catherine nodded and took the paper from Greg's hand. Somehow, just like a mother would, she got the idea that something was wrong, but she also got the feeling that it was something that Greg wanted to keep secret. "Okay, I'll come back to you guys later when you get the results from the epithelials..." she looked around. "Page me, okay?" she asked with a smile.  
Leila and Greg both gave off smiles and nods to Catherine. As soon as she left, Greg got directly to work examining the handle of the knife. "Leila, could you swab that, please?" he handed her a cotton swab and a pair of rubber gloves, and showing her his pleading eyes.  
Leila immediately got to work, taking a swab of the handle of the knife, praying for only one solid DNA match. "Here, Greg..." she handed the cotton swab to Greg and watched him put it in the machine. He was far beyond serious about this, and Leila was truly worried.

__

Behind the fake family image, behind the smiles of a thousand mom and dads,  
Inside the cage that we've been given, I see an image of the future that we don't have.  
We are the people that you made. We are the bastards that you created.  
A generation with no place. A generation of all your sons and...  
We are the people that you made. The fucking bastards that you created.  
A generation with no place. A generation of all your sons and daughters.

After waiting fifteen minutes, the longest fifteen minutes of Greg's life, he watched as the machine started to print off the results of the DNA profile. He looked at Leila apprehensively, almost as though he were asking her to take the paper, in case it was too horrible for him to handle. Leila understood the gesture and took the paper from the machine, running the results through CODIS, and waiting for the match window to pop up.  
As they waited, Greg nervously paced around the room, stopping only when Sara and Nick popped into the room to check up on them. Finally, about three seconds after Sara left, the 'match' window popped up. Greg's head raised from the floor, and Leila rushed to the computer. She gasped. "Oh...my God. Greg, I don't know if I want to let you see this. I don't know if you can take it..."  
He looked into her eyes, pleading for her to tell him. "Leila, please? I just found out that one of my mothers is dead and I would like to know who killed her," he sort of snapped, not meaning to.

She bit her lower lip nervously and beckoned Greg over beside her. He obeyed and blinked twice at what he saw before him. She was right. He probably shouldn't have known. "Wait...so--my real mom...murdered my first adoptive mom?" he asked, seeming kind of shocked at the fact that the name Candy Andrews was across the screen. "I..." he paused, feeling tears come back to his eyes once again.  
Leila instinctively wrapped her arms around Greg. "I am so sorry, Greg...I mean, that is so awful..." she kissed him on the cheek and put his head on her shoulder as he cried.  
Greg pulled out of the hug and looked at Leila. "I...thank you for being here for me...I just...don't think I could have handled this without you..." he hugged her again and cried. "My...mom killed my mom..." he hesitated before saying that sentence. "I suppose you could call me the man with many mothers..." he let out a fake laugh.  
Leila shook her head and let him cry on her shoulder. "I'll just call you Greg. No matter what I find out, you'll always be Greg. You're human, humans have some messed up flaws..." she winked at him. "Me being a prime example..." 

Greg shook his head and pulled out of the hug again. "What flaw do you have? The flawless flaw?" he asked. He believed that Leila was human, only she was broken down to its most flawless form. She was perfect, and nothing anyone could say would tell her otherwise.  
She tilted her head in anger and shook her head. "I am far from flawless, Greg. A case in point, I'm bossy..." she looked into his eyes and saw the tears start to go away. How he could be so strong was beyond her.  
He seemed to be ignoring every word she was saying to him. She, in his mind, was flawless. He had just told her his deepest, darkest secret, and she was still right there with him. That, in his eyes, showed no flaw. She was perfect...and she was right there before him. Maybe it was just the fact that he didn't know what else to do at that point, or maybe it was the fact that he was truly attracted to her. Maybe it was even to thank her for being there for him. But what he did next was purely impulsive. His eyes traced over her face carefully, and stopped at her lips, and he got closer to her, pressing his lips to hers gently, and pushing his tongue into her mouth.  
Leila closed her eyes and went along with the kiss, enjoying and savoring every second of it, but as soon as it was over, she yanked her body out of Greg arms and slapped him across the face. "How dare you? I offer my friendship and you...how DARE you?" she screamed, walking out of the lab and rushing to the bathroom.  
Greg sat in the office chair, stunned partially because of the fact that he'd just kissed Leila, but also because he'd gotten the opposite reaction of what he'd expected. "What the...I thought..." he blinked twice and frowned. He'd assumed too quickly, and made a fool of himself, as usual. He'd thought Leila felt the same way he did, and apparently, he was wrong.

__

What did you expect, a perfect child? Raised by TV sets, abandoned every mile.  
Never get respect, never a fair trial. No one gives a shit, as long as we smile.  
We are the people that you made. We are the bastards that you created.  
A generation with no place. A generation of all your sons and...  
We are the people that you made. The fucking bastards that you created.  
A generation with no place. A generation of all your sons and daughters.

Leila burst into the bathroom, to see Sara standing at the sink, washing her hands. She rushed past her sister and locked herself into a stall, an angry look in her eyes. "Stupid...what the HELL was he thinking?"  
Sara looked concerned and walked over to the stall, knocking on the door. "Leila? Are you okay in there, sis?" she asked, knowing the answer before asking the question. "Or, should I say...what happened?" she asked.  
Leila opened the door, showing Sara the angry look in her eyes. "Greg kissed me. That's what happened, Sara. He fucking kissed me. That asshole."  
Sara looked confused. This was coming from the same woman who had told her a week prior to that day that she was sexually attracted to Greg, and now she was angry with him for kissing her? "Leila...I thought you liked Greg?" she asked, watching as Leila wiped tears from her eyes.  
Leila nodded and splashed cold water onto her face, to rid her eyes of the red, swollenness. "I do like Greg. He just, kissed me for all the wrong reasons, Sara. He's going through something harsh, that I can't tell you about, and he...kissed me because of it."

Sara shook her head and put her hand on Leila's shoulder. "Sis! Greg likes you! I happen to know it for a fact! You need to go talk to him, and work this out..." she shoved her sister out of the bathroom.  
"Wait...how do you know?" Leila asked, suddenly feeling an awful intuition overpowering her. "What's going on, Sara...what did I miss?" she asked.  
Sara looked nervously at Leila. "Remember that talk we had the other day? I had one just like it with Greg...and he has feelings for you, Leila..." she paused, and in that second, they heard something like a crash, in the next room over. Sara instinctively hit the floor. "What was that?" she asked Leila.  
Leila shushed Sara and listened closely in the next room over, now hearing something that sounded like a struggle. Leila gasped in realization of what the room next door was. "GREG!" she shrieked. She flung the door open. "Greg? ARE YOU IN HERE?" she yelled as she looked around, attracting everyone's attention, but saw nothing but a pool of blood in the middle of the floor and about a dozen broken beakers strewn all over the place...

~~  
  
**Author's Note:** What happened to Greg now? Poor guy is just having a bad year, isn't he? Stay tuned for the next chapter. By the way, do you guys think this is too much drama for one chapter? If you do, I can go back and edit it.


	6. Chapter Five: Night Alone

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Authors Note: The best...you guys are just the best. I mean, wow. Sure, I've gotten some positive feedback in my day, but never like this. You guys are truly awesome. Thank you so much. By the way, I changed the title of the Introduction to 'Your Promise', so I could use Night Alone for this chapter.

Chapter Five: Night Alone

Leila stood in the middle of the lab, holding back tears. Instantaneously, without even a word to anyone else, she rushed to Grissom's office. "GRISSOM!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs, causing Hodges, who was the only one other than Grissom not to hear all of the commotion, to come out of the trace lab, an angry look in his eye.  
Hodges poked his head from the room, flashing Leila an angry glare. "Sidle, you do realize that people are trying to work. Maybe instead of yelling Grissom's name for the world to hear, you could go ask Sanders to answer your question for you? Do us all a favor?" he looked at Leila, a triumphant look in his eye.  
She whirled around, from her mission to Grissom's office, and looked Hodges dead in the eye. "Shut up Hodges. I'd ask Greg if it wasn't him who just got KIDNAPPED, okay?" she screamed, catching everyone, as well as Grissom's, attention this time. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you that thought, because now you have a reason to go back into your little lab and celebrate!" she was on the verge of tears, and turned around, only to be looking Grissom dead in the eye.

Grissom, who already thought of Leila as he would his own daughter, looked down at her, trying not to reach over and embrace her. He could sense what the trouble was, but he had to ask; just to be on the safe side. "Leila? Are you all right?" he asked with a concerned look on his face.  
She nodded, but a tear fell down her cheek. "I'm fine, but it's Greg. He...I'm not sure, but I think he may have been kidnapped..." she swallowed down the plethora of tears that were coming to her eyes, but looked up at Grissom, who was growing in concern, and they came back. Turning around, she saw that Sara was running up behind her, and she accepted her sister with open arms.  
Sara embraced Leila and tried to stop her from crying. "Leila...he's going to be fine. Greg's strong..." she explained, as Nick ran up to the scene, only seeing Sara hugging Leila, and wondering what could have happened.  
Nick walked slowly up to the scene, when he saw that Leila was crying. "What's going on?" he asked, going up to Grissom, rather than Leila or Sara, considering it looked as though they needed to be together.  
Grissom shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not exactly sure yet, Nick, but Leila says that she thinks that Greg may have been kidnapped," he turned his attention to Leila. "Leila, we need the best description that you can give as to what you heard. Was someone else there with you when you realized that something was wrong?"

__

This wasn't just another night alone, my mind has cornered me against the wall.  
Bleeding, scratching, fingernails are gone. The scars on my wall tell this all.

Sara nodded and looked at Grissom. "I was there. We were in the bathroom, though. We heard a crash coming from the lab," she explained, embracing Leila closely. "That's all I heard, though, because I hit the floor as soon as I heard the crash. Leila...what else did you hear?"  
Leila raised her head from Sara's shoulder, wiped tears from her eyes and looked to Grissom. "I heard something like a struggle...and then I rushed to the lab, and no one was there," she hid her real thoughts. "But there's a pool of blood on the floor, and a bunch of containers were knocked over."  
Catherine walked from the lab up to Grissom. "I'll work with you on this. I may be swamped, but we're really short handed, and I can take on a third case, for Greg..." she explained.  
Grissom shook his head. "You need to work that double murder, Cath. We need someone else; someone to work with me, who isn't pulling a double caseload yet. Is that anyone in here?" he looked around the hallway to see a whole group of shaking heads, with the exception of Leila and Sara.  
Leila's head perked up, and she approached Grissom. "Um, Griss...if I may...I think I might be able to help. I mean, it would only be for this case, since everyone is too busy...but I took an on the job course during college, and I think I can help..." she explained.

Grissom looked down at the purely eager look on Leila's face, and nodded. "I think that would work. That was what you originally planned to be when you first came here anyway, so that's fine by me. Are you sure you're ready for this Leila?" he asked, looking down at the freshly dried face.  
She nodded and bit her lower lip. "I know I am. We need to find Greg. I won't let emotions cloud my judgement, don't worry. Plus...I don't know, but I might already have a lead--" she opened her mouth without thinking, all of a sudden, remembering that her only lead was supposed to remain she and Greg's secret. "Wait a second, Griss...I don't think Sara is pulling a double caseload yet. Can she work with me on this? Since you're pulling double, too?" she pleaded, looking to Sara, knowing that she'd understand.  
Grissom shook his head and looked at Sara. "Leila, your sister needs to relax. She's pregnant. She needs a lighter caseload," he explained, looking back to Leila.  
Sara knew that Leila would only ask for her help if it was absolutely necessary, so she shook her head in defense to Grissom's statement. "I can help Leila. I'm sure Nick can take on the rest of the case we're on by himself. It's just a robbery, anyway."

__

I'm feeling like the worst is yet to come, because the night has just begun.  
Please let me breathe, you're choking me and my feelings.  
This is my fault, downward I fall, my mind's slipping, my mind's slipping away.

Leila gave off a purely thankful glance in Sara's direction. "See? I wouldn't have asked her if I didn't think that she could handle it. I know my sister..." she pretended that she was okay.  
Grissom gave of an unsure glance, but nodded his head at Sara. "Hodges, you can take on DNA until this case is solved. Then Leila, and hopefully Greg, get their jobs back. Okay?" he asked.  
Hodges nodded and walked up beside Leila. "So you know, I wouldn't celebrate because Greg is missing. I don't hate the kid, I just wish I had his job..." he explained. He must have known that Leila had it rough at that moment, because his sensitive side seemed to show. "And I'll try my best to help in any way that I can..."  
She nodded skeptically, but was thankful for any help that came her way. "Thank you, Hodges...it means a lot to know that," she flashed as much of a smile as she could, and followed Sara to the lab to process.

~~

Greg awoke, in a very unfamiliar place, with a harrowing pain in the back of his head, and blood pouring out of his left arm. "What the hell? Where am I?" he asked himself, looking around. "Ugh...what on Earth did I have to drink last night?" he placed his right hand on behind of his head, feeling a golf-ball-sized lump. "OW, damn it!" He looked around at his surroundings, and quickly became confused. The last thing he remembered, he was sitting in the lab, confused as to why Leila had slapped him. "Okay, whoever did this? You know, I'm not scared?" he lied through his teeth. He was terrified. Terrified and confused...not a fun combination. As soon as he spoke those words, the door opened and he was faced with an unfamiliar face.

__

I never thought this night would come again. My mind is proving me wrong in the end.  
Your confidence in me is wearing thin. No matter what, my mind will win.

"Greg..." the female face smiled across the room at him. "I've waited twenty-eight years to see you, and look at how you've grown!" she smiled proudly at him and approached him, touching his cheek. "I didn't hurt you too badly, did I?" she asked, growing concerned.  
Greg raised an eyebrow and pushed her hand from his face. "Who the hell are you?" he looked up to the adoring eyes, his own filled with confusion and hatred. "And yeah, by the way, you hurt me badly enough to knock me out, so...you did hurt me too badly."  
She, whoever she was, looked hurt by Greg's angry reaction to her. "Greg, dear...I had to hurt you. I knew that you'd never come see me on your own will, after what I did to Marie Moore. I had to do it, though, because she broke her promise to me..."  
Greg began to get the point, and gasped a little. "M--are you my...mother?" he asked, backing away from her, trying not to believe his own statement, just in case he'd gone crazy.  
Candy nodded and smiled a gentle smile at him. "I always knew that you would be an intelligent man. You work at the crime lab? That's just proof of the matter," she reached down to hug Greg, who backed away.  
Greg shook his head. "No. You killed Marie, and you almost killed me. You realize that all of my friends at the lab are probably worried sick about me? And Leila..." he paused. "Leila."

She crossed her arms and shook her head at Greg. "The girl who slapped you. You're concerned about the girl who slapped you? Why?" she asked with a glare.  
He thought about it, and realized that kissing Leila in that moment may not have been the best plan. "Because I picked the wrong time to kiss her. She was consoling me over--over you and Marie. And I made it look as though I was using her for more consolation," he nodded, in self-confirmation.

~~

Leila looked around. "I think I have a partial print, and it's bloody, and fresh..." she reached into her kit and pulled out a print-lifter. "I'll bring it to over to the prints lab and find out whose it is...and then I'll bring it to Hodges, to find out whose the blood is..." she looked to her sister. "Will you be okay?"  
Sara nodded, but put her hand on Leila's arm. "First, though, I need to know the key piece of evidence that you couldn't tell Grissom about. What's going on, Leila?" she asked.  
Leila sighed and nodded. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, so I'm not going to give you the whole story. But, please don't even tell Nick, okay?" she asked, and continued to speak only once Sara nodded. "Okay...well, Greg was adopted...and not only once, three times. And we just found out that his first adoptive mother was killed, and that his real mom killed her."  
Sara gasped and frowned. "And that was when he kissed you? And when you slapped him?" she asked with an even bigger frown. "Wow, that kid's got it rough."  
Leila felt unbelievably guilty, and looked at Sara. "I'm going to take this to the prints lab now..." she turned and walked away. She hated even feeling partially guilty about Greg's disappearance, but she'd feel guilty until Greg was there to tell her that she wasn't. After a brief conversation with the prints expert, Sandra (**Author's Note: I don't know the prints tech's name, so just go with me here**), she decided to stay and pray for a match to come up.

Very fortunately for Leila's nerves, a match came up, but unfortunately, it was a match to Candy Andrews. "Okay..." she kept calm, not wanting Sandra to get suspicious. "Thanks. I gotta bring this to Hodges."  
Sandra waved goodbye and watched Leila leave. Thanks to Sara, it was all over the lab Leila felt the way that she did for Greg, and Sandra knew how much it was killing Leila that Greg wasn't there. But, rather than say anything, she just watched her leave.  
Leila entered the trace lab, hoping that Hodges was as nice to her as he was earlier. "Hodges...I have some blood for you. Can you run this, please? And page me when you find out whose it is?" she pleaded with him.  
Hodges got the same sympathetic look on his face as he had earlier, and nodded. "Sure, Leila. And I meant what I said earlier, so rest assured that this is on the top of my pile right now..." he told her, shocking her out of existence.

She nodded and smiled a little, before turning to leave the trace lab. "Thanks, Hodges. I appreciate that. May I ask, though, what brought on the change of attitude?"  
He shrugged and looked at her. "Not many people in this lab can handle my attitude. The only three that seem to halfway understand it are you, Catherine and Grissom. Plus, I've been where you are before..." he explained. "I've had someone that I care a lot about go missing, and I know how scary it can be."  
Leila smiled a little bit more, and patted Hodges on the back. "I appreciate your help, Hodges. Thanks a lot..." she nodded a thank you to him and headed back to the DNA lab.

~~

__

Please let me breathe, you're choking me and my feelings.  
This is my fault, downward I fall, my mind's slipping, my mind's slipping away.

~~

Greg lay on the cold, uncomfortable, wood plank that his mother-kidnapper considered a bed. This was not a bed. A bed was supposed to be comfortable. He missed everything at the lab. He missed Grissom being a father figure, he missed Catherine's mother-like features, he missed Sara and Nick, and he missed Leila. Mostly he missed Leila, though. He had gone crazy for her. He needed to tell her that he was sorry for not thinking before he kissed her. He should have waited, and he knew it. But, he knew that he was being looked for, so he had nothing to worry about. He sighed, rolled over and very slowly fell asleep.

~~

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Author's Note: There's a sensitive side to Hodges? Yes, I had to make one. I mean, the guy can't be completely bad, right?


End file.
